You must have seen instances where similar outcomes attract starkly different reactions from different people. For example same marks in an exam (may be 20% or 90%), same results in a sport (like exit in 1st round of French open), or denial of promotion, or even the acts where little efforts have gone into the preparation like not winning anything in a lottery. Though outcomes are identical, yet different people respond to these situations differently; some relish and enjoy, some are indifferent and some complain.
What determines this response? One very simple explanation can be the intrinsic human nature, which varies from person to person depending on up-bringing, socialization and mood etc. But this alone cant explain the whole variation b'coz even the same person can behave differently to two similar outcomes. For example I am very happy when I get (just) passing marks in subject A whereas I feel like crying when I get same marks in subject B. I think one of the major reasons behind this is "our own expectations". I will be happy to get 40% marks if I expected to fail and will get disappointed if I expected to top in the subject. So, can we say, if we want to avoid disappointment and live in a good mood we must have no (or very modest) expectations?
Incidentally, isn't this what Indian mythology (Geeta) conveys "Act without expecting returns"?
And what determines our expectations? For a normal, worldly human being it is very natural to have high expectation where he/she has put in efforts. Without positive expectation, there won't be any motivation to put in efforts! So, expectations are directly related to "our own efforts" and vice versa. So, will it not be wise to restrict putting much effort b'coz it leads to high expectations and hence disappointments (assumption: nobody 'always' succeeds as much as he expected). This will lead to no disappointment at failures and a lot more happiness at little expected successes. I know the chances of success will be far less without effort.
Well, still this is my mantra for being happy and contended and it also justifies my lazy and laid-back approach/attitude :)
2 comments:
Does the motivation come from expectation or it is directly related to the efforts? This would be a tricky question.Well in most cases it the previous experiences which also dwells into the psyche and causes the change in expectation/efforts, not to mention the motivation too..
Good article hai sir
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